Move At the Pace of the Body's Yes
How to trust the body to lead.
A calling isn’t in the future, it’s a present-moment feeling, which leads like a compass. It’s not an outcome or pursuit, but a direction and physical experience that guides. Tuning into my body unlocks deeper clarity about how I’m feeling called to move forward.
When I was 19, I wrote a piece called “The LIT Moment Manifesto.” LIT stands for “Live in the Moment.” Looking back over the last seven years, I haven’t figured out anything new, really. That was as smart as I’ve ever been. And honestly, all I can say for myself is that I’ve tried really hard to follow my younger self’s advice, and actually stay in the moment. But, it’s a difficult thing to do. In today’s world, it’s so easy to get pulled out of ourselves, out of the moment, and into the future, or into an external value system.
Living in the moment demands bounded, focused devotion to self.
A boundary is often perceived as a denial of something external, and while that has truth to it, I like to think of boundaries as internally focused. I’m constantly humbled by how I’ve accidentally and unconsciously allowed my boundaries to be crossed… not by someone else, but by myself.
In those moments when I say yes to something I didn’t want, or I don’t say no to something I don’t want, I feel my body telling me that I’ve compromised something internal. Self-compromise feels deflating, self-honoring feeling expansive.
Boundaries must come from a place of internal devotion to my highest Truth. In other words, my boundaries are led by my body’s feeling of yes, my calling. If something doesn’t feel truly aligned, it’s a no.
Where we source our yeses is deeply important. A shadow yes is something we source not from our body’s highest truth.
When people go through trauma, they develop compulsive protective mechanisms, which stay until they are integrated into life. Those mechanisms or beliefs can become that person’s “personality.” That’s dangerous.
A client of mine never felt like he was enough. As a child, he only received love from his parents when he achieved something. This led to his “yes” being driven by an insatiable unworthiness and desire to prove himself, instead of an internal source of body connection and self-love. He built multiple highly successful businesses, but felt so unhappy that he was constantly trying to escape from his life into alcohol.
I see this pattern all the time in coaching. When we have unresolved and unintegrated trauma, our brain takes over and makes us think that we’re living authentically, but in reality we’re being driven by the deeply unhealthy coping skills we developed as children.
To heal this, we need to tune into our body’s deep HELL YES energy. This takes practice.
Yesterday, I said to Shelby: “I move at the pace of my body’s yes.”
Let that sink in. Anything that’s not a yes in the body is a no. How does that feel to actually tune into, not rationally, but really in your physical self.
Say it out loud and feel how your body reacts.
For me, it feels immediately relaxing, and then I feel fear flood through my system. I am afraid because I have those same protective mechanisms from my own trauma, and to choose my highest yes demands letting go of that false sense of safety that has been cultivated by my child brain. The inner child is scared, and all at once full of joy. How does it feel for you?
This morning, I had a yoga class booked, and I could tell my body didn’t want to go, but I thought it might just be resistance to doing “that hard thing,” so I waffled with myself. Eventually, I decided to just get up and go outside to see how that felt. I walked down to the the garage to get my bike, and as I looked at the bike, I still felt this deep “meh” energy to that choice. It wasn’t right for me… And so I said no to yoga, and yes to some ephemeral and tangible calling to have a slow morning, to write, to dream, to dance.
I left the garage and walked into the grassy field, dancing to my favorite DJs, Angara. Once outside, I found a spot of sunshine and let myself just dance! It was so freeing to feel my body move at my own pace, in my own way. Then I started to stretch and play with my body. It felt so good. Even now, as I write these words, my body is moving, playing, dancing… Really of its own accord. That’s the kind of life I want to live; a life where I honor my body so well that it moves on its own.
Developing a relationship with my body has been so important in my life, and honestly, I feel like I’m just beginning. If I feel my body is its own vast consciousness—the mind doesn’t tap into the Divine, it simply materializes the Divine. The body is our antennae—then I’m allowed to surrender to it’s calling, and its feelings.
Even with these words, I don’t so much feel like I’m writing them, as much as my body is letting my mind access them from beyond rational thought. There’s a whole ecosystem of YES happening underneath all the bullshit, and to allow myself to dip my body into that allows for so much flow and beauty. I’ve felt it before, but I always thought it was too good to be true.
What if it’s not?
What if there is a life out there for all of us beyond those trauma patterns and protective mechanisms? A life beyond people pleasing and trying to live up to external expectations? A life where all that’s needed is to love the body, and allow it to lead us? That feels like it could be magical.
Devotion to the body’s yes allows me to move and flow with life, never feeling self-compromising, and always moving toward some unknown destiny of my soul. It’s unique. It’s special, and it fills me with love for myself and life.
Now, I feel like it’s time to do yoga :)
With love,
Faolan